Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Church Christmas Songs III

Grandma Got Ig-nored by the Preacher (Tune of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)

*Grandma got ignored by the preacher,
Walking out of church one Sunday eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Satan,
But as for me and our church, we believe.

She had woke that Sunday morning;
Drove to the church into the lot,
Just to find that a visitor
Had the nerve to park right in her spot.

After parking in the back lot
And tripping over two loose stones
She was greeted by the doorman
Who’d just passed out the last bulletin.

She huffed and loudly grumbled
As the door she went through;
Dodged three running children
Only to find that visitor in her pew!

Well the service FINALLY started
One whole minute passed eleven,
And she had to stay up standing
All four verses of “When We All-Get to Heaven.”

Well the thermostat was too cold
And the sermon way to long,
Time she got to leave Bob Evans
There was no time to go back to her home.

She endured the evening service
Back in her back pew she did sit,
With door traffic and crying babies
The sermon she couldn’t hear worth a lick.

After 100 verses of invitation
She headed out the back doors;
But the preacher was with a weeping member
And once again she’d go home all ignored!

Well the Devil he did chuckle
As she left so miserable
“All they want is my money!”
As she slammed the pedal to the floor!


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