Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Deer and the Salt Block

To me, having my father, Pastor Wayne Burke, as my youth pastor was a tremendous blessing. The lessons I learned both by watching and listening to him are to this day, ones of great value and practicality. There were a few times, however, that the situation brought with it its share of 'red-faced' moments. Especially when he spoke on the subjects of dating and keeping your hands off! His illustrations and stories, as only dad can do it, seemed to always end with, what seemed to me, the entire youth group staring at me and laughing.
The worst was his story about the deer and the salt block. He would tell his story about his father leaving a salt block out in the back field of their house while growing up. Throughout the early morning and late evenings, deer could always be seen walking up and licking on the salt block with their big nasty tongue. Deer after deer would come by, all getting their 'salt fix,' until there was no more salt block to go around. He then, as you can only imagine-with his best deer and deer tongue impersonation, would apply the salt block to those girls who would let ever 'buck' that comes by take a lick of them. I'm still scarred; but I never forgot the story!
This week's poll question was as follows:
Knowing that the person I marry had never touched or kissed anyone else would be:
A. Awesome
B. Fine
C. Don't Care
D. Disappointing

I must admit, I guessed as to the results and was wrong by quite a bit. I asked Pastor Carr to make his guess, and his was close to mine: "I would say about 75% said 'awesome.'" Well, the actual results were:
A. Awesome 60%
B. Fine 18%
C. Don't Care 20%
D. Disappointing 2%

I was suprised. It seems that the world and the Devil has programmed our young people to expect as the ordinary that your future spouse has 'licked and been licked.' How sad that our IFB young people expect such a thing, especially considering that 78% of those same young people have never touched or kissed anyone!
It would do us all good to remind ourselves of 1 Timothy 5:22, "...keep thyself pure." We have already looked at 1 Corinthians 7:1 that we are to not touch a woman, but (vs. 2) "let every man have his own wife."
Why should there be no touching?
1. Touching Wakes A Person Up (Acts 12:7)(1 Kings 19:5)
When someone is in a sound sleep, at times a voice will not suffice, they must be touched. That feeling of being touched wakes a person. By "waking up," I of course am referring to my last post-that young people are to stay asleep until God awakens them to the right one made just for them.
2. Touching Starts an Engine(Gen. 20:6)
One a person has touched, the desire to touch more will be much more great. When Abimelech took Sarah from Abraham after Abraham said she was his sister, the Lord said He would kill him. Abimelech was quick to say that he had not touched her. The Lord knew that and said that He had kept him from touching her. Why did God not allow Abimelech to touch Sarah? Had he touched her once, he would have touched her again. An "innocent" holding of hands is not cute, it is the beginning of a appetite that is difficult to squelch.
3. Touching defiles the entire person(Exodus 19:13, Lev. 5:2, John 20:17, Prov. 6:29)
A touching of the opposite sex not only wakes the person and starts an engine, but it defiles the person. A touch can be sin! Keep your hands off.

4. Touching defiles the person touched (Numbers 19:22)
Not only can a touch be a sin to the 'touch-er' but it is also a sin to the 'touch-ee.'
5. Touching should be something an unmarried lady fears (Ruth 2:8-10)
Ruth was hesitant in gleaning the fields of Boaz, but Boaz comforted her by letting her know that he had instructed the young men not to touch her. Sadly, most young women in today's world would be trying to figure out how to get the young men to touch them. Our young ladies should have a desire to be 'untouched.'
6. Touching is a means of stealing a heart (2 Sam. 15:1-6)
Absalom stole the hearts of the people, and part of that process was that he 'put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him.' Touching someone lowers the natural guards of the heart, and allows it to be more easily stolen. Our young people need to keep their hearts for their future spouse-and them alone.
Reality is, unfortunately nearly 40% of our young people expect their future spouse to have been touched and kissed by someone else before them. Just keep this in mind...everyone you touch in that way, you will leave a part of you. Now physically speaking, this is true, but I am speaking more of the heart and emotions. I believe this is one reason divorce and marrital problems are so great in our churches today, most every couple has too many pieces of themselves with too many people, and not enough with their spouse. Oh that our young people could give themselves....all of themselves to their spouse God has prepared for them. Let's avoid the Deer and salt block stories, and keep ourselves pure!


Jim Rouse said...

I hear your argument and it would be awesome if we could all go to the altar totally pure in heart, body and mind, but why should we care if our spouse has touched someone? We shouldn't because that is the past. My wife has kissed and touched before we were dating and married, but I haven't put a second of thought into it. Why? Because I don't care what she did in her past, God created her for me and we love each other. That's ALL that I care about. To think that we should care is hypocritical. When we get into a relationship with the Father does he say I'm so disappointed that you sinned before you reached this relationship? NO! Our sins are as far away as the east is from the west. That's the example I want to live by.

Travis Burke said...

Thanks for the comment, though I must disagree.
First, yes, it would be awesome if we could all go to the altar totally pure in heart, body and mind. That is the point of the post.
Second, you wrote, "why should we care if our spouse has touched someone?" Well, first of all, I was writing to us as parents that we should try and protect our children from it; but to answer your questions: why should we care if our spouse has touched someone? They gave part of themselves to that person. Now, I too did not know this teaching while growing up, and have had to ask my wife to forgive me, and she did! But the reality is, when we engage in such things, we leave a piece of our heart with that person. I guarantee you remember your "first kiss" and so does your wife; and wouldn't it have been wonderful if it would have been with eachother? That's why I wrote this, so we may help our children to find just that.
Third, you don't care what your wife did in the past? I find that hard to believe. What if you found out she had murdered, had aids from sleeping around before she met you, etc? I doubt you "would not put a second thought to it." Fact is, it does matter down the road what we do today.
Fourth, I don't understand your "to think we should care is hypocritical." Again, you missed the point of the post: let's keep our children from this. But to care would not be hypocritical. I do agree that when we get into a relationship with the Father that He does not say "I'm so disappointed that you sinned before you reached this relationship." But then again, God has the ability to forgive, and yes, cast our sins as far away as the east is from the west...we don't have that ability. We may forgive, but we don't forget. I am glad you want to live by God's example, but there are some things God can do that you and I cannot at this point do. It seems that you have the mentality that second best is just as good as first best.
Bad attitude that is. While I know God forgives, and He can forgive our children too...but why do we want our children to have to settle for second best? Why are we O.K. with our children having made same mistakes we made? We should want more for them.
Lastly, and most importantly, I sense an end times spirit of apostacy in your life that Jude warned of in vs. 4, "ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ." I am not saying you are ungodly, just that spirit is dangerous...the spirit that "I am forgiven, so my sin I have committed is gone...and so will my future sins and the sins of my children. That is turning the grace of God into lasciviousness (unbridled lust...exactly what post is about). Why should you care? It is sin!
Again, I too want to live by God's example...the one that says, "Be ye holy, for I am holy." Accepting touching and kissing around on those that are not "created for each other" under the guise that it will all be forgiven is what Paul warned about over and over:
What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

2God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

Anonymous said...

I agree with you, partor. As a young unmarried person, who is now at the "marrying age" I want the person to be totally pure in heart, mind, and body. I have strived for that, why would I want someone that has fawned all over someone else?