Something New

Well, a year long adventure is seemingly over. We have studied and written on why we are losing our young people to the world and apostate churches. Is it really as simple as we have written-as one commenter wrote? Was all that work "simple?"-as one author ponders? We shall see.
So what now? What to write upon? I truly would love to have others input on our comment pages in days ahead-just be sure to add your name to it. "Anonymous" is a synonym for coward many times.
Something new....
Recently, I surveyed our high school and asked a question:

What makes up church?

The responses were various, but mostly were "people, pastor, Bible, worship, choir, singing, preaching, specials, offering, invitation, Sunday school, ministries, academy, friends, busses, etc.
I believe we Independent Baptist are many times as caught up in man made traditions as the Catholics. Jesus warned against this in Mark 7:1-9. The Pharisees then loved washing their hands; we read, "For the Pharisees, and all the Jews, except they wash their hands oft, eat not, holding the tradition of the elders." Well, the Lord's disciples ate and didn't wash their hands! The Pharisees accused the disciples of being 'unclean.' The Lord taught a very important lesson here:

Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.
And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition

The Lord never said 'washing your hands was wrong.' Rather, He taught that the Pharisees had lain aside the commandment of God, and had promoted their traditions as the principle element. Their worship to God was done in vain.
What a terrible thought. They honored the Lord with their lips, but their hearts were far from Him. Their worship was all done in vain.
We think of catholics, evangelical, and such and accuse them of this very thing. We, as Baptist could never be guilty of such...could we?
Since becoming pastor, the Lord has stirred my heart to stop doing what we have always done, and examine it closely in accordance to the Word. What does God's Word say about it. Has any thing changed? Oh, yes indeed! I have learned dating is not Biblical, but rather a worldly practice that every Christian should avoid. I have learned that education of children is the parent's responsibility. I have learned that topical preaching is shallow and insufficient when that is what is only preached. I will never forget the day the Lord spoke to me about this. It was after a conversation with another pastor who said the following: "I have a great message put together, I just need a verse." Shouldn't that be the other way around? We are to preach the Word!
I have learned so much since becoming pastor; and I have unfortunately dealt with many heart breaks. But God is good through it all and our joy is constant!
While dealing with problems and re-evaluating all things Biblically, I found something else.
Maybe I am the only pastor this applies to, but most problems I deal with concern the following (probably in this order): our academy, nursery, Sunday School Jr. Church, music, and sin/doctrinal stands.
As with dating, I began to look in Scriptures as to how to handle these ministries and the problems they bring. I was running these ministries the way I had always seen them run while growing up in church. I was adapting principles I had learned at college to help these ministries and the problems they incur to run smoother. Problem was, I couldn't find most in Scripture.
There are no Scriptures for running a church academy. There are no Scriptures for how to organize a nursery. There are no Scriptures for how to use Sunday Schools to train children. There are no Jr. Church ideas in the book of Acts. I can't find one verse on how to use a choir in the New Testament church.
SOOOOOO.....
I then looked to my other passion in life...History!
When did these ministries begin?
Sunday School...1780 Robert Raikes, an Anglican, to educate poor children in the slums in areas such as arithmetic, grammar, and sciences.
Jr. Church...1929 John Higgins, an Episcopalian, an experiment to separate children into their own age groups and reach them on their level.
Christian School...1684, the Jesuits, to educate children with a 'christian' philosophy (now I know all about the synagogues and such, but those are no where close to what our 'christian school are today'.)
Choir...300, Constantine, after his 'conversion' (false) he demanded that choirs be added to services just like the Greek operas and pagan worship he had enjoyed before 'conversion.'
Nursery...Billy Sunday, as part of his crusades, did not enjoy preaching over the distraction of crying babies and had the first nurseries built as part of his tabernacles.
We could go on and speak of invitation, bus ministry, sound room, etc....bottom line:
All man made traditions, and relatively new to our faith. And, may I add, none of them Baptist.
Sadly, the typical 'fundamental, strong, Baptist church member' if asked what their focus was on any given Sunday, would be: their singing special, turn to work in the nursery, their Sunday School class, bus route, etc. We have all but forgotten what church is truly supposed to be.
We are so busy with our man made traditions, that we have gotten far from the Word, Worship, and true Work of God.
Is there anything wrong with these traditions? Well, is there any thing wrong with washing your hands before you eat? It is just, we too often are so focused on our 'ministries' that we miss the purpose of church. Our lips honor him, but our heart is far from Him.
Think on these things.

Back to the Basics

As with everything in America's history, we've come a long way in a short time. Sometimes that's good, but in the case of our families, it has gone horribly bad. So now what do we do? Get back to the basics; go back to the beginning. In the words of Ken Ham, Back to Genesis. Chapter one, verse twenty-eight to be exact, the very first commandment in the Word of God, one that modern Christianity has very much forgotten and forsaken - Be fruitful and multiply. Now, I am not advocating bigger families is the cure for our ills; but I am saying that a desire for children is a sure sign things are on the right track. Let me explain. What has been the purpose of this poll? To alert people to a serious problem, not just in our churches, but in our nation as a whole. What is this problem? Well, I think the previous chapters have illustrated it pretty clearly( not that we're great writers, but our subject has really written itself ), our children as a whole are going, going, and some are just gone. Even those still among us are not really with us. Honestly, I don't blame them. Would you want to be where you are not wanted? Wait a minute! How can you say that? Easy enough when many of us already have, if not in our very words, at least in our actions. This brings me back to my point about the size of our families. God has commanded us to "be fruitful and multiply"; not a suggestion, but a command. Is that the desire of the average American family? You and I both know it is not. The typical Baptist couple puts off having children, pushes off the raising their children on the church and/or school, and can't wait to be free of their children. It's not as much a matter of the number we have, as the heart that we have toward them. As with everything else, God is concerned with our heart. If I may be a bit personal for a moment; a few summers back, Shanda and I were preparing for the arrival of our third child. That summer a missionary and his family stopped and parked their camper at our church. That isn't unusual as this happens periodically at our church. But this particular missionary had a message just for me. One day as I was going about my business working at church, this missionary stopped me for a chat. ( the reason I refer to him as "this missionary" is not to hide his identity, but because he was a total stranger, not one of our supporting missionaries) Our conversation is one that I will never forget, though I unfortunately forsook for a time. He began to share with me how after having three children of his own, he and his wife decided they were "done". But he went on to say that God began to work on their hearts through preaching and his personal study, that though that was what he wanted, it wasn't necessarily God's will. To make a long story short, they went on to have several more children. I heard, but did not hear. I ignored this man of God sharing his heart with me and went on my way, thinking I knew better than he. Fast forward to the present. This past summer our pastor changed up our Sunday school schedule to really stress the family and the home. I thoroughly enjoyed sitting with my children hearing from God's Word what I could do to raise them up to serve God. One session I remember above all the others; teaching from Psalm 127, he read the following verse:

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

I must confess, though I was thankful for my children and loved them dearly, I realized then that my view of my children was not God's view of my children. I had been guilty of taking them for granted, and not fully realizing the blessing that they were. I had, at times, thought of them as burdens, and not blessings; of thinking they were here to serve my purposes, instead of to serve God's purposes. God has worked much in the hearts of me and my wife this past summer and I'm so thankful for it. We had developed a very worldly mindset regarding children and the Lord showed us our error; we have confessed it and determined from this point on to see them for what they are - on loan from God, to raise for God. How do you view your children? Is our mind transformed to God's ways, or are we conformed to the mind of the world? I am not questioning if we love our children, but rather do we live for our children? I encourage you, if you have adopted the world's mentality regarding children, humble yourself, confess it to God, and determine to leave a legacy to your children like that of Jonadab. If your children have already grown up and gone on, encourage those coming behind you to see children as God sees them. May we raise up a generation that will be an example for years to come.

So What Have We Learned

In 1997 I began working in the ministry with teens. I poured my heart, my time, my energy, my everything into their lives. As a result, we saw a youth department go from about 12 to nearly 50 each week. We went had two activities every month as we had a S.N.A.C.K. (Sunday Night After Church Knock-out) and a Friday night activity of something like a Blue Gnu or Super Mall Sweep. We went to our Teen Camp, our Talent Contests, and weekly we had around 30 teens going soul winning on Tuesday nights. I was a 'success' as a youth pastor....so I thought. I had the largest Sunday School class in the church, the soul winning crowd was 90% teens, the bus ministry rested on their shoulders, there was life, energy, and excitement each week in the teen class. Other youth pastors were calling me and asking what the secret was. I had arrived....no where.
I estimate in my eight years of being a youth leader that nearly thousands of teens went through our class. There are right now four serving in the ministry and an additional 8-10 still in a IFB church. Success huh? Where are the other 1,982 or so? You can find many on facebook or myspace with their beers, blasphemy, and babies; but not in church Sunday. At first I would get angry with them, considering their actions an act of betrayal against me. I was wrong. Not just for that feeling, but I had been wrong.
With great intentions, great enthusiasm, and great effort, I won the heart of many of those teens. I, as many youth pastors, kept them busy at church and out of trouble, entertained them with activities, contests and jokes, and along the way taught some Bible. I met with parents-when their child was naughty. I did the IFB thing-had fun with them and ignored the Biblical Parental Roles that were missing.
By the time I became the pastor, the Lord had opened my eyes to a problem. Despite our efforts and temporary successes, we were losing them. We were losing the bus teens, the church teens, the preacher boys, the class presidents, the snotty nosed runt and the sharp verse memorizers. We were losing nearly all of them.
In my ministry, I have stopped and re-evaluated everything. I believe we have become so wrapped in our man made traditions, that we do not realize how far we have strayed from God's Word.
It is quite evident that many others are realizing this same problem. The Southern Baptist Church has begun a study on the same topic, as have First Baptist Hammond, Answers in Genesis, and many more. I, nor Pastor Carr, would ever claim to know it all or have the upper hand on anyone. We just are burdened. Hammond will no doubt preach its answers with a loud voice, Ken Ham will teach the answer is getting back to Genesis, Southern Baptist will select a committee to discuss it for 22 years, and so on and so on. Here is what I have learned....
It is our job Dad and Mom. Whether you are on the front lines of battle or the back pew of a dead church, we still can rear our children to serve the Lord. The promises are there in Scripture. It is time to get back to Scripture and leave the man made traditions of dating, letting Sunday School be in charge of spiritually maturing our children, letting an academy be in charge of educating our children, letting a youth pastor get their heart and keep them in church. It is time to grow up dads. Time to put up the PlayStation 3 each night and talk to your son. It's time for moms to quit going to two Pampered Chef parties, ladies fellowship at church, shopping with your friends, and instead stay home and fix dinner and teach your daughters to love their husbands and keep their homes. It's time to set aside our hobbies and sports and to instead get and keep our child's heart. It is time to stop eating dinner in three different rooms with three different T.V.s on and instead to sit around a table and fellowship together in unity. It is time that children hear their daddy pray at home, see their mommys keep the home, and join with parents in song at home. It is time we quit looking for loopholes in Scripture as to why our children may rebel, and start taking responsibility that we can rear them in the ways of the Lord and should they not-it is the parent's fault. It is time we consistently have family devotions, father is the head of the home, children desire to spend time with mom and dad, T.V.s are shut off, computers are shut down, and hearts are opened and shared. It is time for teens to realize they don't have to date fifty to find the one. It is time for the family to be more than a name. It is time that Authority be seen as God's Word. It is time!
We can't afford to sit back and think that our child will be the exception. I challenge every parent to stop, fall on our knees, and thank the Lord for our children, repent for not taking the full responsibility of them, and determine to quit our selfish ways. Determine to not be satisfied with our children making money and having a house. Determine to not expect rebellion as part of life. Determine to quit letting the world entertain and amuse us. Determine that a poll like the one to the right would not reflect failure, but success. Determine to be willing to sacrifice everything to get our child's heart, to keep our child's heart, and one day to give our child's heart to the one person God has for them as spouse.
It is time right now. May God give us wisdom and courage for the days ahead.

Hold the Line

In the beginning the lines were pretty clear. They were established with the children of Adam and Eve, when Cain laid the first lines down with the blood of his brother Abel. From then on, you were either a child of Cain, or a child of Seth, Abel's substitute. All throughout history, those lines battled long and hard. Always it was Cain the aggressor, Seth the defender. What was he defending? The line of redemption, of righteousness; the promised line that God established in the beginning.
Now we come to the present. Why has it become so hard to identify which line a person stands for? The lines have become blurred. Satan has done a masterful job of mingling the lines of right and wrong. What does this have to do with our final poll question? Everything. You see, we have become guilty of pushing our youth to pursue the same things as those of a lost and sin-filled world. Now we are perplexed why they have no interest in doing the work of God and standing for the Word of God. I have come to believe that every generation has a battle to fight. The battle may appear different every time, or the name of the enemy may vary, but ultimately the battle is the same. Someone must stand up and defend the right. Someone must, as did John the Baptist and the prophets of old, be the voice of one crying in the wilderness. We must be willing to hold the line. In our own way, this is what we have attempted to do. Others may continue as before, denying any problem, but our responsibility is not to any man or organization, but to one day stand before God and say, I did what you told me to do. As Abraham Lincoln once said,

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am to do the best with what light I have. I will stand with anyone who stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him if he goes wrong.

We must be willing to hold the line, at any cost. The future generations are depending on us.

Goals!

We have come near the end of our research. We have asked 30 questions to Independent Fundamental Baptist Teens. The 31st question was not really a question, but rather a listing. It read,

My top 5 goals in life after graduating are (list in order of importance)

Indeed, this was a very open ended question. I feared that their would be so many different answers that arriving at a sensible result would be difficult. This was not the case. While there were a few non-popular results, over 90% of the answers were the same. Listed below are the top 5 goals for our IFB teens for their life after graduating; these are listed in order of importance to our teens:

1. Marriage
2. College Degree
3. Serving God
4. Successful Career

So what does one make out of this? Is their anything wrong with having the desire to be married or to receive a college degree or be successful at a career? No, not at all. I am sure we all wish that "Serving God" was number one on everyone's heart, but it was not by about 20%. The top two answers were by far the most prevelant: getting married and obtaining a college degree.
Where do they get these priorities? I believe they have obtained them for the most part from us. Who is 'us?' Parents, pastors, teachers, youth pastors, mentors. We have made 'success' to equal a spouse, two kids, own a home, dog, and a good job to support it all. I see parents 'satisfied' with their kids as long as they have these things. They may not be in the 'church' that parents desire them to be in, but at least they have a home, spouse, job, kids, and a dog. I mean, they still believe in God, they pray over their meals, and are sending your grandchildren to a Christian school. Plus, they are making money, have good insurance, and are living 'safe.' I have learned so much this past year in studying and reading about this 'epidimic' we have. First Baptist Hammond, Ken Ham, and others have written books and conducted seminars on the same topic. Even 'churches' (not truly a church, but claim to be) such as Willowbrook have conducted research the last two years as to the epidimic. The Southern Baptist Convention recently began studying the problem. So what is the answer? I will do my best to share what I have learned and vision next week. But for now, may we look at our young people's dreams and goals and ponder...what do I want for my children? It is easy to say, "Serve God," but by our actions, words, monetary investments, and time-what are we showing our children we desire for them?
Genesis four and five are some of those 'geneaology' chapters. Chapter four is all about the line of Cain. There we read of entrepeneurs, builders, owners, rich, famous, musicians, iron workers, builders of cities, and more. They were so successful. In contrast in Genesis five we read the line of Seth. The most any accomplished was that they "lived so many years and begat sons and daughters and died." No entrepeneurs, no rich, no iron workers, no city builders, no famous musicians. But, which was more successful? It was the line of Seth that 'found grace in the eyes of the Lord,' that 'walked with God and was not for God took him,' and that 'lived nine hundred sixyt and nine years.' It was this line that made an ark, will preach durring the tribulation, and produced the Saviour. The other line, 'perished in the flood' along with their successes and inventions.
We are not called to train up our children to be a builder, musician, or ownder; but rather 'in the way he should go.' We are a success when our children rise up to serve the Lord. They may not be great owners, builders, bankers, or officials-but should they serve God-they are a success.
I hear so often, "My child turned out all right, they stay out of trouble. So does my desk, but it's not a success. May we desire to sow in our children seeds of Godliness that will produce goals of Godliness.

"...but obey their father's commandment."

The above phrase is taken from Jeremiah 35:14, the account of the family of the Rechabites. In this account, which I have previously referenced, God tells Jeremiah to hold up this family as an example of faithfulness and obedience to the people of Judah. They also set a pretty good example for us today, when so many of our families are falling by the wayside. But what is truly amazing to me is that when studying a little further, I discovered Jonadab was not their father. This account in Jeremiah takes place in the time of king Jehoikim, one of the last kings of Judah. Jonadab lived in the time of Jehu, approximately 240 years earlier. In other words, for about ten to twelve generations, this family had passed on the teaching and instruction of this one man Jonadab. Stop and think about that for a moment( or in Bible terms - Selah ). That would be similar to the descendants of George Washington still living today following his teachings. So, how did he do it, you ask? I believe there are several principles that we can learn from this man's life.
#1. Jonadab took a stand for God.
We see this in the account of II Kings 10:15-28, when Jehu the king came to him looking for a man to stand with him against the wicked worshippers of Baal.
#2. Jonadab practiced what he preached.
I believe this is evident in the clear views that are presented by his descendants two and a half centuries later. There was no argument about what he said or what he meant.
#3. Jonadab was personally involved in the teaching of his children.
He didn't assume they were just going to get it at the temple, or in school. Three times in the account in Jeremiah, the phrases commanded and charged are used. he exemplified the instructions God gives in Deuteronomy 6:1-9. How can I know that for sure? We reap what we sow. It can't possibly be luck or coincidence that a man's descendants, two hundred plus years down the road, are still following his commands.
So, can we have the success of Jonadab? Yes, I believe we can. But I believe the reason we're not, judging by the poll, is not that our youth aren't listening or learning - it's that we aren't teaching them the things they need to know. Fathers - it's up to us. Mother's - if Dad is not there, it's up to you( see Timothy for case in point ). Point is, parents, we have a great responsibility, and from what I've seen in my few years is that responsibility has been ignored, because to many dads and too many moms quite frankly don't want to grow up. Men are living to pursue pleasure instead of promoting principle; woman are living to build a career instead of building character in their children; and the children are left on their own to "find themselves."
May God help us to restore a broken foundation, the family.

You Can't Tell Me What To Do!

I think I saw this kid at the store last week, but I know I heard a child say that phrase to his mother. A few years ago at a CVS store, I heard a child say that to his mother, who by this time was red faced, paying, and ready to leave and hide under a rock. The child stood half way across the room disregarding his mother. I walked over to his side of the store to 'look at a greeting card' and softly spoke to him: "She can tell you what to do, and you better listen, or you will have to deal with me." The kid said, "Whatever" but quickly ran to his mother and silently walked out of the store.
We live in a day of equal rights, anti-abuse, independence, and free expression-all of which I totally believe in-problem is these anti-abuse defenders have become the abusers. I will not get into politics in this case (but would love to at a later time) but merely stick to the matter at hand. I am TOTALLY against child abuse-and more importantly, so is God! Our Lord warned over and over about the severity of offending a little one. Sadly, we live in a day where the child has more authority than the parent in many cases.
I am going to drop a bomb shell of enlightenment on you:

God's Plan always works!

And did you know, that God works through authority? God has a plan for rearing children and seeing that those children grow up to serve Him. That plan is founded upon authority. According to 1 Cor. 11:3, "...the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." Eph. 6:1 teaches that the head of the children are their parents. So, if I may, God's plan of authority is this:

God-Christ-Man-Woman-Children

That will work-every time! We ask our IFB young people who was their life's authority, and they responded:

A. Parents 81%
B. Youth Pastor 4%
C. Teacher 0%
D. Pastor 3%
E. Yourself 12%

As you can see, the problem is not so much the children not seeing their parents as their authority. 81% of our young people see their parents as the authority for their lives. The 12% that consider themselves is somewhat alarming, but the vast majority see correctly their parents as the authority. At first, I scratched my head....then where is the problem?
I believe the problem is not so much children not seeing their parents as the authority, but rather Parents not realizing, accepting, and acting upon the fact that they are their child's authority.
Our Lord exemplified this in Luke 2:51 when "he (Jesus) went down with them (Joseph and Mary), and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them:" The omnipotent, omniscient One was subject unto his parents. Why? Because God has given to the parent the position of authority and to the child the responsibility to honor and obey that authority.
Here is where I feel we are 'missing the boat.' The typical IFB family drops their child off at a Christian Academy for 35 hours a week to be under the authority of a teacher, allows them to be under the authority of a coach for 15 hours that week, under the authority of a Sunday School teacher an hour that week, and so on and so on. I am not against these positions, but sadly the Devil has convinced most parents that their authority is at home...the teacher will take the authority for education, coach the authority for athleticism, Sunday School teacher/youth pastor the authority for spirituality....the parental authority has been so thinned out by delegation-that there is no real authority in the child's life. Thus, they grow to see themselves as a digester of all the 'inputs' they have received and the final authority to decide what is right for them.
As a parent, it is my God-given authority to see that my child is educated, matures spiritually, is physically fit, and learns the Biblical principles that are necessary for a successful life. My job! Not theirs!
We have swallowed the Devil's philosophy that 'someone else is more qualified than me.' I am not against using Godly tools to help me in rearing my child, but should my child stray-I did wrong.
As a youth pastor, high school teacher, and Sunday School teacher, I was blamed many times when a child rebelled. For a long while, I accepted that as my responsibility; but it is not. I have that responsibility the three children God has given to Stacey and I.
Parents, you can tell them what to do-and should! God has given that authority to every parent. May we strive to teach them diligently to our sons and daughters.