Hey Mom! What's for dinner?

Growing up, these words were, for me, a source of comfort and security. Knowing that when my Mom gave the call for dinner, Dad, Mom, and all my brothers and sisters would be there and there would be food on the table. It wasn't always the most scrumptious meal, and there were some that I did not enjoy(sauerkraut anyone? blegh); that never did, however, take away from the pleasure of dinnertime. So, what is it about dinnertime that's so important that it merits it's own section in our study? First, I believe it is important because of what it provides. Dinnertime provides for more than just our physical hunger, and as fathers we are to provide more than just food and clothing for our families. When, in the beginning, God finished His creation and beheld that it was very good(Gen 1:31), it was more than just the physical that He had provided for; the emotional and spiritual were taken care of also - He had provided Adam a helpmeet, and He Himself would be there, too. Fathers, providing food to eat and a roof to eat under does not fulfill our responsibility; we need to be there also. One of the greatest parts of dinner as a child was knowing that Daddy would be there; if for some reason he couldn't make it, well, it just wasn't the same. Seldom was anything allowed to interrupt our dinnertime. Even the phone was to be ignored while we ate. That is something that I strive to continue today with my family. We were fellowshipping with our father; everything else could wait. It gives a sense that we are important and demonstrates the love our Heavenly Father has for us as He desires to fellowship with us. Remember, it's not about us, but about us showing an accurate picture of Him. The second aspect of the importance of dinner is that it protects. Not just anybody could come and sit down at our table. They had to be invited, they couldn't just show up. There are some who leave an open invitation to drop by anytime, you're welcome to stay for dinner. Not so at my house. If Momma didn't know you were coming, you probably weren't gonna stay. They had to meet the standard. No shirt, no shoes, no service kinda thing. Watch your language cause some things you just don't talk about here. You don't like the rules - there's the door. That was an important principle I learned growing up - you don't change your rules and beliefs just to accommodate someone else. The third and final aspect of the imprtance of dinner is that it promotes. It promotes fellowship, unity, hospitality, kindness, love, honesty; all qualities that must be present if the dinner is going to be as successful as it should be. Ever been to a dinner where there was tension or awkwardness or an uncomfortable silence? If any of the above qualities are lacking, that is what results.
Someday, we will get to finally sit down with our Heavenly Father for a meal that's been thousands of years in the making. And just like the dinnertime I've just described, everything will be provided for; we will be protected from sin and death; and the Lord Jesus Christ will be promoted. What a day that will be! Let's have a little bit of heaven here on earth - Let's make a big deal about dinner!

Could You Please Pass the Butter?

Once upon a time, in about the same place where you are, there lived a father, mother, and five little children. Their day was really quite simple: work, chores, schooling, a little play time, and meals. There were no emails to check, no phone ringing, no fantasy sports, not even a Sheriff Andy Taylor. Communication was centered around the family; and one of the great means of this communication was the dinner table. Here Father, Mother, and the children would sit and talk about the day's adventures, tomorrow's dreams, and life's lessons. The family was bettered as a result of this daily time of sharing and loving, but then comes the present.
Dad is eating on a tray in the living room watching the evening news. Mom is just eating out of the pots with a fork. Johnny will eat when he gets home from soccer, while Bethany is going to 'grab a bite' with her friend Amanda at Wendys. Everybody shoves down some grub, and as a result will be starving again at 8:00 and will eat the Taco Bell "Fourth Meal." (adding to our bulging waist lines)
Nobody shares a story, nobody knows what is happening in one another's life, nobody knows how to act properly at a table, and no one is there to pass the butter. The family is weakened.
Our eleventh question on our teen questionnaire reads:

We have dinner as a family around a table each week:
A: every day...31%
B: 4-6 days a week...15%
C: 2-3 days a week...13%
D: once a week...10%
E: Never...31%

About 1/3 of our IFB young people sit with their families and enjoy dinner every day, and about 1/3 of our IFB young people NEVER sit with their families and enjoy dinner together. Thus, a great number of our families are being weakened.
In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul is rebuking the church at Corinth concerning their partaking of the Lord's supper. They had made the Lord's supper an event for the satisfying of the flesh, not the rememberance of our Lord's sacrifice. Apparently, they were making the observance more of a feast rather than an observance. Thus, Paul rebukes them by saying:

What? have ye not houses to eat and to drink in? or despise ye the church of God, and shame them that have not? what shall I say to you? shall I praise you in this? I praise you not.

We know in context how he is rebuking the church for making a mockery of the observance of the Lord's Supper, but I believe we also see a most applicable principle in this verse, "have ye not houses to eat and to drink in?"
It was to be expected that dinner was to be eaten at home. We read much in God's Word about where the eating was done inside the home (2 Sam. 9:7-13; 2 Sam. 19:28; 1 Kings 2:7; Matt. 15:27; Mark 7:28; Luke 22:30) they ate at the table.
Now, I do not believe it is a sin to go out and eat at a table, but I believe the principle must be seen that the family and friends gathered to eat together in the home at the table-not in the recliner, kitchen, bedroom, and porch. This is a special time for fellowship and sharing of love.
One day, we will enjoy perfect fellowship with Christ. The bride of Christ-those churches which have kept themselves unspotted from the world and true to the Word of God-will sit with the Bridegroom at His table and enjoy the marriage supper of the Lamb. Why sit at a table? Why a supper? Why at the Father's House? Fellowship! Love! Communion! Unity!
Each night, our Christian homes should be a model of such: Father, mother, children sitting at a table, in the home, together enjoying fellowship, love, communication, unity!

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Eph. 5:32

Amen!

Wheeeeerrrrrrrreee's Mommy?

With this past weekend being the time we celebrate the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ, I took the time to read through the different accounts of the four Gospels. After reading them and then considering this week's question, it struck me how true it is that the number of godly women in the Bible outnumber the godly men. Take, for example, the Crucifixion. There were at the foot of the cross several ladies, standing and grieving over the loss of their lord. How many men? One, John the beloved disciple. And that same trend is found throughout the Word of God; in fact, throughout history you find the same to be true, in every religion. But today - well, things are different today. Though I knew, growing up, that all people were sinners, in my mind woman just weren't as bad as men, and seemingly they couldn't be. But today - well, things are different today. Today it's the women who are smoking, drinking, cussing, and running around. Today it's the women who drive recklessly, get in fights, beat their children, and get in trouble with the law. So what happened? How did we get here? I refer again back to Proverbs 30:11-14, where it mentions four characteristics of a generation, or perhaps several generations, but it starts with the generations relationship with their parents - v.11 ..."that curseth their father and doth not bless their mother." Now, I don't know about you, but how do you not bless your mother? What kind of child cannot find it in themselves to rise up and ..."call her blessed"? Prov. 31:28. Then, it begins to dawn on me; it all becomes so very, very clear. The reason why this generation cannot bless their mother is they have had no mother to bless. Oh, they have had a woman who gave birth to them, but if the saying goes for the men, that having a child doesn't make you a father, then, ladies, neither does having a child make you a mother. So we have a generation, with little or no true parental influence and is it any wonder that we are where we are? Proverbs 29:15 says,

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

and shame is what we have, and in order to avoid it we fill our lives to the brim with activity and things hoping to drown out the hurt and despair caused by that shame. Today we have a generation of boys and girls who were raised by a generation who did not give the example of what a man and lady ought to be. They rejected the authority of the Word of God and have reaped upon themselves destruction. They did as the Jews regarding Christ. The Jews said to Pilate, "... His blood be on us, and on our children." The previous generations said, by their actions if not their words, "We will live to please ourselves and we care not what we reap from it." They gave no thought for the effect it would have on their children. Proverbs 28:9 -

"He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be an abomination."

Our nation is hurting, as is evidenced by our youth. Many today are crying out to God, but until they cry out in repentance for rejecting his Word, their cry is in vain. Until we personally take responsibility, we will not prosper. It is by no means the burden of our ladies only, but they play a great role in both the success and failure of our families, churches, and nation. We need less women in politics and more mothers in prayer closets; less women playing sports and more women portraying spirituality. This generation is crying out for some godly parents to lead the way - will we hear their plea and bow our knee; or will we turn away and lose the day?

"You Arrogant, Sexist Pig!"

There, now you don't have to email me to share those same words. I want to write a preface for this week's post:
There are scores of single mothers who are sacrificing and working as hard as they can to rear Godly children. Don't quit! It can be done! I love using Timothy as an example here. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 1:5

When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.

Here we read of Timothy's spiritual upbringing, which came predominantly from his mother and grandmother. We read of no spiritual father in the picture at all. What was the result? A Godly young man esteemed very highly in the Word of God. Without a doubt, rearing a Godly child as a single mother is a more challenging task, but it can be done, and I praise those who are doing so. Don't quit, keep serving and investing in the promises of God's Word. I have known quite a few young people that have grown to serve the Lord faithfully from single parent homes, but this does not take away from God's Word. The promises of God are sure when a Godly father and mother are both fulfilling their God given roles.
This brings us to the next question on our questionnaire:

My mother spends most of her time:
A: At Home...50%
B: At Work...40%
C: At Church...4%
D: Away from me...6%

Again, our blog pole mirrored the questionnaire's results. Here comes the statement that will cause some to want to comment like the title reads: I believe with all my heart that the mother should spend the greatest portion of her time at home being a home maker.
I preached a sermon once titled, "What ever happened to Aprons?" The gist of the sermon was this...we have accepted the world's philosophy of daycares, camps, and schools with working mothers, nannies, and babysitters. As a result, we are losing our young people.
Titus 2 speaks of aged women "be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers...teachers of good things...teaching young women to lover their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed...in all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works:"
That is what we have gotten away from. What ever happened to aprons? Now I understand that the "Proverbs 31 woman" considered a field and bought it, but I also know that everything at home was being taken care of by her first, before she did such. I am not against ladies bringing in an income of some sorts as long as the home is NOT being neglected. "You arrogant, se.." Don't say it, I already relieved you of that opportunity.
Now, there maybe instances where the mother 'must' bring in an income to survive. That, I believe is pictured in Proverbs 31. Just be sure 'survive' does not consist of "nanny, daycare, eating out because no time to fix dinner, camps, extra-curricular, cleanning lady, second car to drive to work, insurance for that car, cable t.v., cell phones for everyone" bills. Many times, in many families, there would be much more in the bank if mother did not work and have to pay for all these non essentials.
But I digress...the Bible says much about the importance of a mother. To be honest, there are more examples of Godly mothers in the Bible than Godly fathers. One of my favorite verses in the Bible describing God is

As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you;
Isaiah 66:13

God uses the comfort that only a mother can give as an example of the comfort He provides. We all understand that mommy's kiss is the only thing that makes our Boo-boos better. What I am saying is, we need more mothers at home loving and comforting and teaching their children. We need more aprons, home made biscuits, and tops of book cases dusted. We need more than an empty house to come home to at the end of the day.
Here is what has happens...Darla (17 year old IFB young lady)has everything. The family gets a nice vacation every year, has two nice cars (and now she has one too), gives a good tithe at church and loved for it. Darla's family lives in a nice home, she has the newest cell/camera/ipod/computer/entertainment system phone. Just one thing is missing-mom. She has been reared by babysitters and daycares and her Christian school. Darla is entering the years of marriage potential and she can't sew a button, hem a skirt, or boil water. Darla guesses Windex is a new product from microsoft. Darla has been faithful to her youth department, where a man has been her teacher for 6 years. She has learned from him and her volleyball and basketball coach to be agressive, loud, in charge, and a vocal leader. The farthest things from her thoughts are "loving and obeying a husband, loving children, discreet, chaste, keeper at home." Never has a mother taught her these things, and as a result she will date around, pursue her career, make a lot of money, and teach her daughter she has at age 37 to do the same...and "The Word of God is blasphemed." Titus 2:5

Quality time or Quantity time? How about both?

This week's survey is a perfect example of a previously mentioned principle - sowing and reaping. The real question is , do we know exactly what we are sowing? Are we really aware of what is going into the hearts and minds of our youth and whether or not it is pleasing to God, much less to us? Please read carefully the following quote:

You know that the beginning is the most important part of any work, especially in the case of a young and tender thing; for that is the time at which the character is being formed and the desired impression is more readily taken...Shall we just carelessly allow children to hear any casual tales which may be devised by casual persons, and to receive into their minds ideas for the most part the very opposite of those which we should wish them to have when they are grown up?
We cannot...Anything received into the mind at that age is likely to become indelible and unalterable; and therefore it is most important that the tales which the young first hear should be models of virtuous thoughts.....

This quote is from Plato, the ancient Greek scholar. It has been understood for centuries, the importance of the quality of material placed before our youth. Yet strangely, we behave as though it is a completely new realm, unknown to man previous to this generation. People will argue that we have Sunday School and church to give them the proper instruction. Again, going back to the idea of sowing and reaping, can we really compare 2 hours of teaching with at a minimum 10 hours of flesh-appeasing entertainment? Even if you throw in the hours at a Christian school, consider the difference of sowing into ground that is hard and resistant and sowing into ground that is soft and fertile. One thing I've learned about our modern youth is the prevailing attitude that refuses to be taught; almost as if they have nothing to learn and no desire to learn it. Our appetites are for entertainment, not education.
So then, what are we teaching our youth? Self-denial or self-gratification? Serving others or serving self? Developing a godly character or developing a godless materialism? Every generation has a desire for the following generation to be better off than they were. Defining the term better off is where our trouble lies. In modern times, being better off is having no consequences for our actions; no opportunity to face defeat; no chance of getting our hands dirty; no fear that there may be someone out there who may be better than us at something, thereby causing us to lose self-esteem. This is what we are sowing - Do we like what we are reaping? Our youth are being raised by everyone but their parents; coaches, teachers, music instructors, youth pastors, not to mention TVs, video games, movies, musicians, etc. When was the last time we sat down and had a real conversation with our child? Do we know the spiritual state of our children concerning their salvation or are we trusting a decision made at a camp or conference? Are we aware of not just who their friends are, but what they are, as in the quality of their character? In the New Testament, Jesus Christ gives several parables on talents and stewardship. We, as parents, are given stewardship of our children. Based on our performance thus far, will we one day hear, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant"? We have a great responsibility. Let us be busy about the Father's business; let us be busy about the business of being fathers.

Be Still And Know

Psalm 46:10 reads, "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."
We live in a busy, busy world. That includes our young people. Much has been said already of the importance of getting your child's heart; and if it helps, I will say it again, "Every parent MUST get their child's heart."
One of the Devil's greatest tools in keeping the heart of the child away from their parent is that of television and internet. Now, I do not believe that either is a sin in of itself. They can be used to sin, very easily; but they are objects. They are stealing the hearts of our young people from their parents as much as guns are to blame for killing people.
The responsibility is with us, the parent. I know some homes where the television is never off. I mean-never! Even when the family is gone, the television is left on for pets or for the fact that it will be on when they get home. Constant noise and distraction. Families will even sit together in the same room for 4 hours a night, but no one is aloud to have a conversation... "Shhh, I can't hear the T.V."
Fathers will sit for hours a night watching their favorite shows, while the children are banished to their rooms, so not to interrupt Law and Order. Mothers do not like the shows their husbands are watching, so they have their own television set in their room to watch their shows; and those kids better not knock on the door until John and Kate is over!
So the children set, yearning for fellowhship and communication and their sits the answer....FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, or Twitter. There they can share their feelings, talk about their day, share the joys of life, cry on a shoulder, laugh, listen, and talk to somebody named "RedDragon22" while their father and mother stare at their shows.
Of course the children, join in the habit of television watching also. Dad, to show his love (and make up for his lack of parenting) purchases them their own television for their room so they can watch Sponge Bob!
Thus.......

I spend on average either watchign TV or on the internet each day:
A: One Hour or less.....29%
B: 1-4 Hours.....59%
C: 5 or more hours...12%

A recent study showed that children watching excessive television is linked to: obesity, nagging, violence, illiteracy, ADHD symptoms, and more. Constant noise, constant distraction, constant social communication-but the home remains divided.
I have, in an earlier post stated why I deleted my facebook account, and I would encourage those with one to read it again. Youth are spending too much time on these sites on the web...last time I checked, getting stuck in a web meant certain doom for the innocent that was flying by.
Why should my Teen ager NOT have an online social gathering account?
1. Too wasteful-think if that time was spent with their parents talking, chatting, sharring, crying, laughing, opening their heart one to another-it would change our homes.
2. Too Friendly-You can be "Friends" with anyone. I guarantee most, if not all, of our IFB teens that are on these sights, have "friends" who we as parents would never let them be "friends" with in the real world.
3. Too Open-Proven fact, you are more honest and open your heart more in writing than words. That is why Johnny always asks Suzy "Do you like me" in note first, "Circle Yes or NO." Fact is, behind a screen and keyboard, one is much more open and puts themselves in danger of giving their heart away.
4. Too Wicked-They may be not writing any thing wicked, but look at the adds, look at their friends, look at lifestyles that are promoted.
There are more, but you get the gist. We need to stop!!

Parents, turn off the t.v., unplug the computers, and spend time with your children. We posted the same question on our blog for the adults who read the blog to answer....

A.Hour or less...28%
B. 1-4 Hours...56%
C. 5 or more hours...14%

At least we know where our young people are learning these poor habits. Turn it off, talk, listen, love and share your hearts. One of the greatest things the Lord has led our family to do is a daily schedule. Now, of course, flexibility is the key, especially in the ministry; but a typical day has been outlined and is hanging on our refrigerator. It has on it times for sleeping, reading, school, devotions, eating, play time, exercise, and showers. Why? Because any of us can get the 'couch potato' syndrome.
May we all recognize our addiction, turn it all off, and be still a while...He is God!

Monkey in the Middle

Columbine. Virginia Tech. These names are fairly familiar to most of us, and upon hearing them, we are filled with a sense of sadness that these tragedies occurred in our nation, in our time. Sadly, these incidents, while by far the worst of their kind, are not isolated. Over 40 other such tragedies have taken place in the past 15 years, and the general feeling is that there are more to come. Many have attempted to understand why and to get a grasp of how this could have happened. Unfortunately, the majority of those searching for reasons are looking for answers in the wrong places. As always, the simplest answers are usually the right ones. Let me explain. One of the saddest things about these tragedies is that seemingly no one knew what was going to happen; no one thought their child was capable of such violent acts. To that I say - Huh? Where have you been? How do you not know what is going on in the life of your child? How is it possibe that we allow our young people, who we brought into this world, to drift so far from us that we don't know what is going on? What are we doing? What is so important that we neglect one of the greatest gift's God gives to us? Parents, it is our God-given responsibility to raise up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. As a child of God, I'm glad to know that He is concerned with everything that goes on in my life and doesn't allow anything to slip by His ever watchful eye.
The title of this discourse is Monkey in the Middle. When I became youth pastor, I thought I knew exactly what was required for the job. Teach S.S., plan activities, go to camps, build and maintain realtionships with the youth, and try to guide them in the right direction. Sounds simple. The problem arose when I began to realize that I had a better relationship with many of them than their parents; that troubled me. It didn't seem quite right that whenever I would try to get them to talk to their parents, they didn't feel comfortable. I didn't understand it fully at the time, but I was taking something that didn't belong to me. When Pastor Burke approached me two years ago regarding how God had been leading him concerning youth, it relieved me to know that I wasn't the only one having difficulty with this issue. My hope and prayer is that, as parents, we would desire to first give our children our hearts that we might gain theirs. What is the result if we don't? Having already looked at Malachi 4:6, I would present Proverbs 30:11-14:
There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.
Are we there yet?